His insatiable ego centralizes most storytelling vantage points and key plot elements to himself, with few seldom exceptions. His brash, loudmouth comments border from tolerable to obnoxious, and tends to draw out the worst in his fellow Superbuddies.

He was born presumably in the 1980s, but due the effects of Aberrant Reality Fluctuation, the very core of established time and reality renders this a moot point.

He prides himself an avid video game enthusiast, having fond memories of the obscure, such as NES video game titles, such as Rygar, Faxanadu, and other bizarre, nonsensical words, but it is reknowned that he regards most modern technology with a shirking sense of disdain and malice. This acts in constant paradox with his equal fascination with camp and science-fiction, and often involves himself in conversations that begin with "...wouldn't it be cool if science made..."

He may also be a robot due to previous volume story, which may not even be in the canon, but alludes to being of robotic origins, simply because it sounds awesome.

GABE: Gabriel Dalton Tough McGillicutty, A.K.A. Gabe, is a male, estimated age to be presumed to be 25 to 47 years of age, who has expertise in the criminal acts of murder, subterfuge, murder, fencing stolen goods, acquiring stolen goods, bludgeoning, graft, and yes, Murder. His origin is a mystery, as there is no known point in which the Internet Superbuddies recall meeting Gabe, as he has always been there, perhaps as a possible guardian, or a lurking threat. Possible evidence, in relation to a fluke with the Aberrant Reality Fluctuation theorum, suggests that Gabe may in fact, be from a different point in time, due to strange esoteric requests ('Yo. let's watch Hill Street Blues.', 'Get me a Billy Beer!', etc.) out of place remarks ('Sit on it'), and unfamiliarity with technology and current events.

What little we know of Gabe, is that he is presently unemployed, and he is known for a now infamous temper and hatred for most things, and seems to respond primarily with threats of violence, or violence instead of verbal communication. His weapon of choice is improvised weaponary, such as broken bottles, pool cues, or best yet, the broken, extracted bones of other people. He is not versed in any martial art, as he usually describes them with a quasi-racial epithet, coupled with profanity, in reference to their effective stopping power.

Gabe is an avid fan of the artist known as Billy Joel, and has his entire library on cassette tape and 8-track, where applicable. He will secretly hum bars of Captain Jack to himself when alone, or on lengthy car trips, sometimes shedding a solitary tear. (For concerns of one's own mortality, this fact is never addressed to him directly.)

Gabe has stolen an estimated $20,000 in home electronics from Joe with and without his knowledge, and fenced a majority of it to an unspecified Irish criminal family operating on the Atlantic Coast.

Gabe enjoys playing several copies of NHL games ranging from 94-98 (all stolen from Joe's possession, without his knowledge, and played on one of Joe's original stolen television sets.), and is known from winning by employing 'hockey codes.'

LUIS: Luis Maria Conchita Alonzo Guadalupe de la Cruz de Santa Ana, a.k.a. Luis is a guy who has an fixated smile and wears a blue shirt that appears to have a copyright infringing logo on the front. He appears to be between the approximate ages of 13 to 35, and is Mexanoid in origin.

Luis' strength relies in his sensibility, usually trying to be the common-ground in which other the other Internet Superbuddies can rely on for a solution out of whatever mess they've gotten themselves into. (That is, any mess that cannot be solved by technology. Please see Chase.)

It is rumored that of the entire Internet Superbuddies group, that HE and one other member have actually seen an honest to god naked lady, and that is with his Latin Guile].

His Mexanoid background gives him proficiency in Cigar-Rolling, multiple forms of combat involving switchblades and butterfly knives, interpretive dance, street slang recognition, breakdancing skills, and understanding of Esperanto, It is also assumed that he can readily summon no less than four, no more than six additional Mexanoids to back him up in a fight at a moment's notice, that he enjoys white women with large asses, and an unhealthy appreciation for gharish automobiles from 1978 with painted-on fire patterns, extremely small tires and sound systems worth three times that of the car they're installed in.

It is known that Luis desires one day to display a face-reaction that doesn't come across as toothy, ecstatic glee.

CHASE: Dr. Chasington Ellen Speakenspell, a.k.a. Chase is a a presumed male between the indeterminate age of 6 to 23 years of age, who in light of being recognized as the 2nd most intelligent cyberculturalist, theorist, and authority on biomechanical and mechanical discovery, has no recollection of any social information regarding the 20th century, presumably from a unique affliction that plagues his memory retention centers of his brain that has been connected to a brief period of ownership of a Sum 41 CD.)

He retains closely guarded information about a fabled subject known as "Science", and is the Internet Superbuddies' trusted authority on fixing things that go generally wrong, from instances where simple lying and accountability (sometimes involuntary accountability) is required, to righting the quantum paradoxes that result from inexplicable accidents. (Usually at the hands of Joe.)

He is the counterpart and closest friend of the enigmatic individual known as Jamezors, and functions as the higher-brain power between the two individuals. (Speculations of suggested romantic interests have presented themselves, but tangible proof has neither surface nor actively sought.)

JAMEZORZ: Jamezors, A.K.A. Jamezorz, A.K.A. James, A.K.A. Retarded Guy is presumably six years old, and began hanging around after an internet-based religious altercation with Joe, thus resulting in his untimely death of his original meatbody.

James/zors/orz likes the color green, and enjoys track based RC cars. He sustains enough brain power to maneuver his way from scene to scene on occasion, and is known to enjoy a nice cold Ice Cream from time to time.

His hobbies include wetting his pants, wetting the floor, wetting the bed, talking about Robocop, and wetting himself when talking about Robocop.

He has recently demonstrated the capacity for learning how to load and fire a shotgun, which demonstrates that his level of thinking has now escalated to a danger to innocents, thus Close Supervision is highly recommended.